Thursday, November 25, 2010

Ear hair

Ear hair. Why why why?

Now, you thirty-something (and beyond) guys, when you consider how much plucking, waxing, electrolysis, dyeing, cold-creaming etc that girls have done to be attractive to you - the least you could do is attend to that little outcrop in your ears.

They may never enter your head but they will shoot out of it, they will be noticed and they will not score you any points. (A little nostril alertness wouldn’t go amiss either...)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Why why why squeeze toothpaste from the top?

This is more than observing simple quirks of practice – it is one of the classic societal rifts – separating the top squeezers, bottom squeezers (and the less often sighted, middle squeezer) brings to light indications of each group’s overall character and tendency.

The curious thing is that all members of all groups understand the physics involved at an intrinsic level, yet choose to respond in their own particular, revealing way.

No one can dispute that the tube’s contents must travel from the sealed end to the open end. And yet…

Something in the top squeezer’s mind says to perform the action near to the point the paste is dispensed and completely overlook the (undisputed) fact that that same action also pushes the majority of the contents in the wrong direction.

The bottom squeezer can only see the rational – the contents must move from the bottom to the top, he knows that the desired end product of his actions will appear (and continue to appear) therefore this is the only place to apply pressure - for him there is no other option.

The middle squeezer? Something more primal is going on here that I can’t fully comprehend – but not giving a damn is probably wrapped up in it.

A degree of not giving a damn is likely on the top squeezer’s mind as well, especially if they co-habit with a bottom squeezer. They know that the BS compulsion will restock their top-of-tube needs and their instant-gratification-with-no-thought-to-later-consequences needs are met.

What I find most telling (as a BS) is that when presenting the logical case to a TS there is no hint of desire to change their practice.

As a rational, if I am presented with a modification in behaviour that demonstrates clear advantage, I need no persuasion – the improved method is actively adopted until something better comes along.

The TS mentality betrays a broader tendency to contrarily not take on a clearly more rational behaviour for the very reason that someone has pointed it out to them. (And I’m looking at you, every single woman in the world, ever)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Burnt Toast

Why why why bother with burnt toast?

I guess it just comes down to personal values, but if I’ve burnt a piece of toast so badly that, to approach an edible state, I have to scrape off layers of blackened ash, it’d have to the last piece and I’d have to be desperate.

Just, you know, make another piece. (You can be sure it won’t take as long as it took to burn the first piece...)